MD year 3

And year three of my MD programme just ended in the blink of eye. So, it's good to jot down all the funny and interesting incidences that happened during my first clinical year in hospital. Happiness, grievance, anxious, anticipation, disappointment, euphoric are the words that best describe the moments, either hard or sweet, that I've gone through during this period of life.

1. O&G
My first ever clinical posting begins with OG, which stands for Obstetrics and Gynaecology in full. This is indeed an awesome posting, which I got the chance to practice on my hands-on skills the most. In a week of five days excluding the weekends, we are allocated in few areas comprising of clinics, wards, OT room and labour room. In the wards there are a lot of cases in related to labour as well as prelabour eg pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, placenta previae, fibroids, hyperemesis gravidarum, PCOS etc. Through clerking (tho what we usually did was just chit chat with the patient) the details of the patients are soon revealed. Bedside teaching and self studies are the way I used to secure all the knowledge in my brain.

One thing that makes this posting unique is labour process. I bet this is the top eye-opener for a newbie in medical field. All we did in labour room was to observe, observe and observe. And sometimes, we need to survive through the grudges and even complaints from the fierce-looking 'mi si' aka nurse or the female doctor who was always in mood swing condition, and we nicknamed them PMS sufferers lol. Our relationship has been like Tom and Jerry, whereby we medical student as the mice, must always be smart enough so that no harm can be imposed by 'Tom'. Despite all these funny relationship, the most valuable moment one can observe in labour room is when you see the baby's head is crowning, few seconds later they arrived safely into the world, vowing their arrival with loud yet sonorous cry. Later on the father will hold his baby with his lips slightly vibrated, to which I believe it is the act of praying and chanting to the God who blessed their family with new life. Perhaps this is the first ever thing that a new daddy can practice on his fatherhood I guess? Well I shall learn it when the right moment befall.

2. Pediatrics
Well the moment I stepped in paeds ward, I was astonished and anxious. All I saw were baby crying, looking ill, or even with dismorphic features on their face or bodies. Parents, with majority mothers, hold their love on the lap with grievance and shedding tears of sadness. I'm the uncle to my two year old nephew, and all I want for him is to live happily and most importantly, free from any diseases and suffers. So, initially my heart can't take it when I see a Downs baby with parent worrying their child's future mental development; a nephrotic baby with gross swelling on face and genitals; a meningitis baby with frequent attacks of seizures and stiffness; or a congenital heart disease baby with cyanotic face that can't feed orally just like other normal child can do. Child are supposedly linked with positivity, vibrant, optimistic and whatever word that brings the good meaning, but this naive thought of mine just vanished and broken into pieces when I entered paeds posting. So, to the staffs that work in paeds department out there, I salute y'all! All are unnamed Heroes/heroins indeed.

Nine weeks of posting ended before I realized it, and there's one particular girl that I remembered vividly. She was a ten year old kid suffering from rheumatic fever. Thanks to her I auscultated murmurs for the very first time in my medical training. What makes she stands out from the masses? I noticed her hospitalization throughout my posting, until the last day she never been discharged. This  has triggered my curiosity to further discover her stories behind, and through questioning I found out that she was actually the sixth(?) siblings in her family, because of the big numbers of children, her parent seems didn't pay much attention on her. I hope they are just merely busy to earn a living that let their daughter laying in the wards for such a long periods, without visiting her even for one single time. All the times when I walked around her bed, her only companion was her elder sister that came to hospital after class. I pray in my heart, wishing her to get discharged as soon as possible with no recurrence and least complications from her diseases. Stay strong and healthy! To the girl with brave heart.

3. Internal medicine
If you have ever played some fighting/adventurous game, before you level up you must always beat the strongest enemy aka the big boss. To me, IM together with surgery, are among the two biggest big bosses that one can encounter. Unlike OG and paeds which you can focus on few diseases, there are basically no borders in learning the art of medicine. Despite the must-know diabetes, tuberculosis and hypertension, one has much more enormous knowledge  to be learnt and mastered on. Flicking through the thick textbooks, highlighting the important phrases, making own notes are the things we do everyday with tired mind and body after whole day of classes and hospital sessions. I had all these bad impressions on IM before I enter this posting. Ironically, things always turn up differently from what you aspect it to be. True that one must read a lot in this posting, but at the same time things that you can learnt from the IM wards are countless, indispensable for the rest of your lives as a doctor.

I have two tutors that evoke my desire to persue more knowledge in IM- Dr Zamri (who currently works in HSNZ as a specialist) and Dr Hashim (who owns a clinic). The former is a dedicated doctor that shows enthusiasm in teaching and nurturing young future doctors. He will grab you in the ward to examine patient with murmurs, hepatomegaly, or with finger clubbing during his ward round. This inevitably give you the chance to learn more clinical presentations and have them sealed in your mind. From him I know that patient is our biggest and most valuable textbooks. The latter, who was well known for his strictness, never fail to impress me with his vast knowledge in medical. Each time I fail to answer his questions, besides the word 'rubbish', I earned new things. And this will never ever be forgotten after being 'tortured' by him. My deepest and most sincere gratitude to both of you, Drs.

4. Surgery
Here comes my most favorite posting-surgery! TADAA! The one and only one reason for this, it is direct, direct and direct. You don't need to grill your brains to get the answer, just by observing the anatomical position, you can easily generate Ddx and even Pdx just on the spot. Acute appendicitis-you can know by just asking few questions and do some bedside test; hernia-you can know just from observation; obstructive jaundice/DVT/head trauma-you won't missed it unless you're blind. In OT session, we get more chance to revise on what we have read earlier on by seeing what the surgeons cut out and which layer they excised. Moreover, I'm blessed with many humble surgeons that let us to stand beside (ya literally besides) him during the operation. What else can you complaint of?

After finishing this posting I've finally get an epiphany on my future direction. I wish to become a surgeon that operates in the OT. There's no better curative measures for any diseases in the world other than surgical intervention (provided that they are excisable and operable). I will certainly work hard in this direction and may my dreams come true one day. Holding a forceps and scalpel, performing suture on the wounds and see patient recovering in a promising speed and condition will be my ultimate goal to be achieved in the future. Aren't they awesome? =)

才发现

>假期-ing, 去了一个我不怎么喜欢的地方，刚下车的那一瞬间，看了看四周围，我只想回家。三年，说长不长、说短不短的时间，希望可以顺顺利利的过去。

>才发现原来世界上很多人带着面具做人。听着，别随便对人掏心掏肺，别到背后被插了几刀后才哭嚷着世界有多现实。没错，它就这么现实。成长吧孩子。学着自私点，才能让你在这残酷的世界找到生存空间。

>才发现原来世界上有很多人那么的不负责任。当初答应时的那般爽快，与现在突然来个爽飞机，比较起来还真是可笑，还真讽刺。很多人说男人到了40才剩一张嘴，你怎么那么快就只剩一张嘴。真羡慕你那纸上谈兵的本事。

Switching mode........

 >才发现原来世界上有那么一个肯为朋友付出一切的人。朋友有难，你比她先难过、先落泪；朋友对课业不上心，你比她更急；朋友开心时，你比她更开心。原来世界就需要你这种人，来平衡‘那种人’。

I know there's still hopes and true friends do exist because of you

>才发现原来世上，有那么一个人让你牵挂。谢谢你那一晚带给我的一切，这回忆是美丽的。真心感谢。

Sometimes I just forgot to remind myself how blessed I'm. 

The funny moment when you can't recall back what you've read earlier. Seriously need to install an external hardisk inside my brain to store those endless info regarding histomorphology of human reproductive system, the most complex system ever. #corporaamylacea #BPH #stressstressstresstothemax

Need you now 

三月

已经太久太久没写一篇完整的文章了，希望自己还懂得如何整理脑里紊乱的思绪，再将它们一一完整的打出来。

最近生活，除了吃饭睡觉😪打豆豆，就是读书。整整12叠高高厚厚的lecture notes, 读完姑且不成问题，但要如何能将那些知识链接并熟练地运用，是个难题，很大的难题。天天在图书馆里待上八九个小时，回到宿舍时那身体那精神已经被摧残的不成人形，但依然告诉自己必须挺过来，否则这两年的努力劳力脑力将付诸东流。最终能否通过大考？能。希望吧

三个星期过后，考试结束，也意味着很多的结束。这两年认识的朋友，去的地方，遇到的种种，无论开心与否的那些事，就将成为记忆。分离这两个字，在我眼里一天一天的出现，一天比一天更清楚。在这里我遇到了许多大大小小的事与人，当中有些是愉快的，也有些是难过的、遗憾的、反感的...如果要我下一个小终结，我会说大部分还是值得怀念的。要和这一切说再见，我应该办得到，但...和你说再见，我还能如此洒脱吗？这种感觉偏要再这么重要的时候到来吗？真的好虐心。

                        

"若不得不分离，也要好好地说声再见，也要在心里存着感谢，感谢她给了你一份记忆"


总要在快临别时，才能看清楚自己内心深处到底在想什么，要的是什么。

不管了，容许我自私那么一下下。 我会暂时放下，专心做我该做的事，就是把书读好，把试考好。我始终相信冥冥中自有主宰，是你的终究会是你的。就算不是，当做是做了一场美丽的梦就好了. Anyway, it feels great that you once appeared in my life.

发泄完了，睡觉去。安。

厌倦了身边的那些脸，那些事......

这世界有时候孤单得需要另一个同类

Restless Tuesday

Being awaken for more than 24hr dy...and still not having any intention to sleep. Last night's visit to Picadily Restaurant for supper was the culprit. Hmm yea it's because of the weird taste peppermint tea I ordered.

Just back from the tiring session of clinical practice from UCSI, think of short napping but eventually was overridden by the huge sense of hunger. Ate an extra-big chic rice with a quenching kopi peng. Oh no the caffeine gonna stimulate my nerve cells again :/ 吃苦，我只能做到前一个 @@ 不管了，在咖啡因发作之前先去睡饱吧 哈哈！

Hi! 2014

Things I encountered recently:

-started Sem 4 of Doctor of Medicine, and it's still a long long way to go before I claim myself as a qualified physician. 

- got a new anatomy lecturer from Korea. His style of teaching is way too different compared to the previous anatomist from India, and seemingly he faces some difficulty in communicating with us. I can only think of the word "cute" when he speaks English with a heavy Korean accent.

-choose to end my relationship due to some personal obstacles. Feeling unprepared to be someone's life partner yet.

-indulged in watching "crayon shinchan" as I found some source of happiness in the process. And I called it as my life relaxant.

-start learning new module-musculoskeletal system after the tremendously overwhelming cranial nerve system. It's Still a heavy subject but thanks god I found interest in learning it. Just discovered I have a well developed brachioradialis hoohoo!

-Phase 1 of Professional exam is coming in less than 3 months, so gonna turn on the sleep-wake-eat-shit-study lifestyle mode. Currently in a progress of transforming into a zombie, AGAIN. Will I survive through the gang-rape of small exam before coming to the final? Just pray hard and study hard lar

Alright it has been more than a year since my last updated blog. It's INSOMNIA, an old friend of mine that directed me here again. Thanks lar but please visit me as less frequent as possible.

Good night (4.34am=.=)